I decided to go on a photo walk around campus on night after dinner. I love how vibrant the colours around us become shortly after it rains.
I did a shoot for my dear friend who lived on the same floor with me in residence. She was running for multiple student leadership positions and needed photos for her campaign.
Here are the official poster media.
Here are some of my favourites that didn’t make the final cut.
You may want to know the results of the elections. Michelle won all of the positions she ran for after a week of long nights, hard work, dedication, genuine care, stress, deep chats, and ice cream bars. This included VP of the upper year tower (head of all programming and tower events) and Student Council Arts Representative. I wish her the best of luck in her roles this coming year! …but anyways I know she will be great!
This is the result of carrying around my camera everywhere as I go to class and explore the city.
Mid-Summer Leaves – After a productive lecture session, I walked out to see the cheerful sunlight in quad. And yes, I am in fact doing school in the summer, haha. Here on campus, it has been at least 28°C everyday..or at least it feels like it. For this photograph, I stood under a shaded tree to capture the quiet mid-summer mood. I think the little holes in the leaves make it interestingly imperfect.
Van Vliet Complex – Even though you can’t see the actual building, I really like the effect of this shot. The Van Vliet Complex is the main recreation center on campus. It is the cone shaped building attached to the Butterdome. These two buildings are photographed together quite often (I’ll photograph that some other time to show you), but I wanted to see if I could capture it from a different perspective. It was successful! I even manged to capture some huge sunspots too!
Mackinnon Ravine – My fellow execs and I went down to the river valley for team bonding last week! I manage to capture this shot as we were walking back up the hill (very close to the water). We were planning on picking berries here too, but they were nowhere to be found! We had a great time nonetheless though.
Cafe Mosaics – This is my favourite vegan place to grab a nice meal after a draining midterm. [bokeh + street photography = new obsession]
Urban Street Art: #BarnE – I love that Cafe Mosaics features and supports upcoming artists.
Throughout my experience with academia, I have always been very studious; one could say “over-committed”. The never-ending game of GPA and marks has always taken over my life. While, striving to be at the top fueled my drive to continue, it has also put me in tears several times. I constantly compare myself to others, feeling like I never measured up. I have been so overwhelmed lately that it has made me reevaluate. What do I really want from my years at university? Luckily I was quick to come up with an answer: I want to emerge as a more successful person. But, what is success at its core?
As you can tell by my dramatic introduction, this post is not my usual photo write up. So feel free to stop reading at this point if you do not want to glimpse into the mess that is my brain. Prepare for a deep heart-to-heart. …which is more like a heart-to-screen since I am doing this to clear my head and to maybe put things in perspective for myself and others who may be feeling the same way.
Today, university and life-in-general slapped me in the face and I pondered what would happen if I decided to put my degree on hold–I don’t know, maybe say: take a year off, go abroad, discover myself, you know before dumping thousands and thousands of dollars into the ocean. My rational voice is reassuring me that would be the most idiotic thing I could possibly do. I worked so hard to get to where I am. I would disappoint so many people. I would let so many people down. But my instinctual voice is pleading me to take better care of myself, be happier and be more stress-free. There has to be a good way to find balance right? Balance either makes or breaks a photograph. How do I find a better perspective?
So, what is it that sparked this revelation you might ask? It was just one lab that I had today that left me genuinely unhappy. Study habits in university was definitely a hard adjustment and I still do not have it down. Since the “smart asian girl” is a dime a dozen, I beat myself up about doing something “extra”, going that extra mile. But doing things systematically is what everyone is doing–studying through the night, getting that exec position within a student club, volunteering at a hospital, working in your prof’s lab. At this rate, you can say goodbye to sleep, your social life, and your well-being. When I fail (like what happened in my lab today), is when I wonder if it it all worth it, what makes me different from the next student here? As I realized I can never match any of the students here, I started to think that all these qualifications are so objective. I believe creativity is what separates individuals. This reminds me of what one of my favourite professors said to me about writing essays. He said that “everyone has the same tools and resources, you just have to think outside the box.” When you process this in your own life, it becomes an inspiring statement. Needless to say he is my favourite professor I have had to this day. I guess I also always loved writing, but blogging is a new style of writing that I discovered I love.
Sometimes I daydream about my fairy-tale life, what it would be like to be able to do what I love while supporting myself and everyone I love…and to not be judged for not have a “real job”. I call this judging process the “you didn’t get into med school” phenomenon. People who are bombarded with this message might not be making a ton of money but the are 100% happy with themselves and there lives despite the fact that they don’t have the credentials to prove it. I feel like this cruel pitfall is holding me and thousands of other people back because it is these objective qualifications that end up defining who we are to future employers. It should be our true self that is nurtured, persevered, and shown to the world. I am envious of the people who turned their creative passion into a successful career and continue to hold their head high. I know these people are not perfect, but we can all dream. Frankly, I don’t know what is it that truly makes me happy, but I do know being anxious 24/7 is not healthy. Turning your passion into your career is a tale as old as time, but the idea is very intriguing. Life is short, shouldn’t we be choosing cooperation over competition, happiness over hate?
A good message I have come across says that to be confident you need to accept yourself for all that you are strengths, weakness, everything. This is hard because, conquering those demons that cause you to dwell on the negative things and compare myself to others in your mind is a daunting task. They say, “a man’s worst enemy is himself”. My relationship with my own demons has been a constant roller coaster of ups and downs. Sometimes I fell feel super confident and able to bash away any negative thoughts, while other times I feel like a fish out of water. For now, I am just taking things one day at a time and making sure I have a little time for myself and to recharge. I truly believe that you have to take care of home before impressing the streets.
I don’t really know what the point of this post was really. I just wanted to clear my head. If you have made it this far, then well…cue the applause because this was a hella long blabber about my worries. Thank you taking the time to read this. I hope that this was insightful. : )
I would really like to get back into blogging regularly, whether that is posting photos or just me rambling on about life. I would like to acknowledge all my new followers. Welcome to my blog :D! I take it a lot of you are in Mr. Bruce’s Photography 12 class at Kelly Road Secondary….yesyes? Hopefully you can gain some inspiration from my previous posts. Photography 12 was BY FAR my favourite class in high school. Also if you need any advice, shoot me a comment; I’m happy to help!
ANYWAYS, I haven’t touched my blog since the last day of photography. To be honest, I really haven’t picked up my camera since I moved to Alberta for Uni. I am currently in the mist of midterm season, working day and night studying, writing papers, and doing labs…..PSSHH, who am I kidding?…I am procrastinating like none other xD. No, but really, in the craziness that is university, campus atmosphere is beautiful and very uplifting and I would like to post some photos of campus very soon! There are many photo opportunities. I am apart of the established university photography club here on campus and I work on a design team for a a group called the Health and Wellness Movement. BUT YES, photos soon, I promise.
Good luck to everyone in school and whatever else life throws at you!
Talk soon (feel free to comment on this post).
For now, a quote…